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Shana Vanbouchaute

Hey, my name is Shana Vanbouchaute And I am 37 years old living in Butte And I am writing this basically as a prayer request. I am married and I have three children ages 16, 13 and 4. We do belong to a church here but I have yet had the courage to submit a prayer request or even tell anyone about I'm struggling with and I don't think it's something that most people would even expect. I am supposed to be baptized on March 12th. Which is wonderful. About a year and a half ago I started to really try to build relationship with God. I have prayed everyday. Attended church every week and try to read the Bible as much as possible. Even though I don't understand a whole lot of it I always try to Google things to understand it correctly…. But I struggle with addiction and I promise I tried my hardest to overcome it and prayed about it countless times. And it's not as simple as not going out and looking or buying something. The only two places that I have for any kind of support is my mom and my family and husband. Since I've moved to Butte I've mostly been a stay-at-home mom and the only real friend I have made here unfortunately somehow developed schizophrenia about a year ago and is not a stable support system at the time. My mom, who I love with all my heart and would do anything for me in the world but is also part of the problem. She is 76 and she receives pain meds from a doctor and always gives me half. Even if I ask her not to and I beg her not to, she insists that it's not a sin because it doesn't cost me any money. And then she will still drop them off somewhere for me in my house. My husband, who is a great father and supporter in a very hard worker also developed in addiction to meth and refuses to see it as a problem because for the most part it hasn't really affected our family horribly that much and regrettably I made the wrong decisions to do that many times I have quit using it and it really wasn't that hard but eventually it all came back to with it being in the house and my husband He's not supportive of me not doing it. I always went back. Between the two places I don't really have anywhere else to go? I have prayed and prayed everyday for help and guidance , And I know that the answer won't come in a paragraph form or something like that but I still don't even know if God can even hear me. The worst fear I guess is that God already knows in the end who is going to end up in heaven or hell and that maybe he just can't hear me because he knows I'm not going to make it. So all I'm asking for is a prayer request because I believe prayer does work. Thank you for taking the time to read this and God bless ️

Received: February 15, 2023

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